Piece de resistance

As many of you may or may not know I recently became engaged to be married. It's thrilling. I am overjoyed and incredibly excited to be starting on this new and exciting adventure. I have jumped in with both feet. I bought three bridal magazines and a book entitled, "The busy brides handbook for planning a wedding." I am really good at organizing and hostessing so I was pretty certain that book or no book planning a wedding couldn't be that hard, right?

Wrong! Planning a wedding is incredibly in depth and complicated and anyone who has planned one will undoubtably have some horror stories. From venues to guest lists to favors and vows there are so many minute details involved that it would take a bride of steel not to get stressed out at some point in the process.

The fiance' and I were discussing said stresses the other night and after my regularly scheduled panic attack, I remembered what the wedding is about. We are planning an event to celebrate our love and connect our two worlds and families together. Whether that event is at a BBQ in our backyard or at the country club of the moment, it will still be about connection. Part of that connection is the planning of said day. Doing the prep work to create the piece de resistance.

It's a bit like preparing a meal. Going to the farmers market and picking out the fruits and vegetables. Using your budgeted monies to decide which items to buy. Finding a recipe and washing and preparing the ingredients. Putting love and fun into creating a meal you then share with your friends, family or self.

It's also like the journey of exercise. Our exercise goals don't just miraculously appear. We have to plan them and work at them. We have to get our butts outside to walk and make our way to gyms and sports teams. But is the process of getting there becoming half the stress? If you are stressing yourself to the gym are you negating some of the benefit? I don't know, but it makes sense to me that stressing out over the preparation of health can't be good for you.

It's the same way I am trying to think about my nuptuals. Am I fostering connection and love by stressing out over tables and chairs? Probably not. Am I progressing my health by freaking out over the workout schedule in my day planner? Probably not. Am I nurturing my waistline by being aggravated in the supermarket? Probably not.

This week let's all try (myself as always included) to make the journey part of the end result. Being now by taking some deep breaths and realizing that you are exactly where you should be and each step is part of the meal.

Fuel for Life

Everybody has heard the term introvert or extrovert and I am sure most people have labeled themselves or someone else at one time or another. “Oh, she’s an extrovert, she’ll be fine at the party.” Or, “he’s an introvert, so very shy.” Until recently I had always thought of myself as an extrovert. I am social and loud and friendly. I have no fear of talking to strangers and I love being the center of attention. Extrovert, right? Not so fast.

The true definition of an extrovert is a person who gets their energy from other people and an introvert is someone whose fuel comes from being alone. Most people are a bit of a mix of both.

Take the BF and me: I love, love, love to be alone. I can take days in row where I don’t leave the house, and all I do is read, sew and watch cheesy movies. I like to take walks by myself and go to the movies alone. I like long hours spent doing nothing but daydreaming, alone in my pajamas. Sometimes I become overwhelmed by all the activity and social engagements of life and I have to actually schedule alone time in order to recharge the batteries. It’s not that I don’t like being social but sometimes it’s too much for me.

The BF is the opposite. He gets his fuel from the energy of others. He likes to entertain and have people round for supper and BBQ’s and pool parties. He spends long drives chatting to family members and friends on the phone (Bluetooth of course). It’s not that he can’t or doesn’t like to be alone, it’s that he gets his energy from connection with others.

And yet if you met us both at a party you would think I was the extrovert and he was the introvert. He is much less chatty than me and definitely less dramatic (thank goodness, right?)

Have you ever thought about where your fuel comes from? I mean you get energy from the food you eat and the exercise you take but is your life giving you more energy or is it depleting you?

I spend most of my day being pretty social. I am always around people and so by the end of the day I am fairly depleted. Because I know that I need extra alone time for refueling I make sure to give myself that time. Today I am going to take a walk in the park by myself. If you are the opposite and stare at a computer all day with v little interaction but you happen to be an extrovert, you might find it helpful to schedule time for lunch dates and after work events.

Take a look at yourself and discover if you are an extrovert or an introvert or both. When you know what pumps you up, you can make sure to fill your tank with the correct type of fuel. You wouldn’t put diesel fuel in a gasoline only car. If you did, it certainly wouldn’t run as well or at all.

Let’s all give ourselves the premium grade this week and notice how it affects our ability to drive.

Breaking Bread

I recently finished reading the book, Eating Well for Optimum Health, by Andrew Weil. I found it on a shelf in a used book store and thought, “why not?” It was the best purchase I have made in awhile and it was only 75 cents. It is a great book! Dr. Weil has v few opinions in the book; he just tells it like it is. “This is what we know, and this is what we don’t know.” He goes through the most common fad diets and explains exactly what the scientific pros and cons are and he never recommends any of them. There was lots of practical information for me regarding autoimmune diseases but there was also a lot of really interesting information for anyone wondering a little more about nutrition and how our bodies use carbohydrates, fat and protein. I highly recommend it.

What had to be my most favorite part of the book however was a story not by Dr. Weil but by Ronald Koetzsch from Camaraderie is the Best Diet.

Mr. Koetzsch tells a story of his time visiting friends when he chose to abstain from the frivolity of the meal because he wanted to “be healthy”. He fell asleep listening to the sounds of laughter and chatter and awoke not feeling triumphant or self-righteous but feeling left out and groggy.

Did you know that the word companion comes from the word panis, which means bread? A companion was someone with whom you would “break bread”. There is also a Japanese phrase for intimate companion, which translates to, one who eats rice from the same bowl.

Mr. Koetzsch explains, “When food is blessed by being shared, by being eaten in fellowship and laughter…all food is health food.”

I agree!

How many times do you eat your lunch sharing and chatting with your friends? Is it more likely you will spend it checking emails? How many nights is dinner in front of the TV? How often is breakfast a rushed and hectic affair?

I say, “Turn off the TV! Log off the PC (or MAC if you’re like me) and share your meal with someone close to you or someone you’d like to be closer to.”

Savor the experience of eating instead of trying desperately to get it over with. Granted this is a lot easier at suppertime but I have faith that we can make it happen for other meals too. Maybe you can pal up with a friend from work and offer to bring lunch for the both of you. The next day they can do the same. You will get the opportunity to try something new and enjoy a mini party mid day.

Even if you live alone (me) and there is no one to share breakfast with, you can still savor the enjoyment of eating by paying attention to your food. Actually taste it and chew it well. Put on some music or enjoy the silence and relish the first meal of the day. This is what will fuel you; give it the respect it deserves by focusing on it and remembering it.

“He who distinguishes the true savor of his food can never be a glutton; he who does not cannot be otherwise.”
— Henry David Thoreau

Nobody puts baby in a corner

As the days creep closer to the 4^th of July I tend to get pretty excited. I love, love, love fireworks and I’m also quite partial to BBQs, pool parties and the general merriment surrounding such an important holiday. But of course as I am wont to do I find myself thinking about the significance of the upcoming day in history. We celebrate the 4^th because it is the day when the declaration of independence was signed and America declared itself free from the rule of Great Britain.

Now I am not going to get into a history lesson but I do think that the notion of independence is a really important one when it comes to our health and our habits.

Have you ever heard of the term emotional independence? I heard it a lot when I was dating. “I want a man with emotional independence etc. etc.” I thought it meant that a person knew what their issues or baggage were and could talk about it like a grown-up. I certainly believe that’s a valid skill to have but I no longer believe it’s called emotional independence. I have come to think that EI as it shall now be named is the ability to feel what you’re feeling regardless of what someone else is feeling. Example: I wake up and it is a great day. The sun is shining, birds are singing and little mice have made me a beautiful dress to wear, this day is perfect and nothing could go wrong. As I am walking down the street in my lovely mouse-made frock, a friend comes up to me who is in a v bad mood. She says, “Ugh, this day sucks and your dress is ugly.” (Not a great example of a friend really) Emotional independence would be my ability to not let this un-friend get me down. I am happy. Just because she chooses to not be happy does not mean I will. If I did not have EI, her mean and grumpy mood would wipe away my smiles like Windex and I would spend the rest of the day in a funk and not know why.

Another form of non-EI can happen when you base how you feel about yourself and your behaviors on what someone else thinks of you. Or even worse, what you think someone else thinks of you. Example: Me again in my critter designed creation happily walking down the street when I am confronted with an old friend. She doesn’t see me, even when I wave. I get a little anxious. Did she ignore me? Have I done something wrong? Oh my goodness I wonder if I have somehow upset her. Non-EI is you jumping to conclusions and then having those conclusions affect your wellbeing. Even if she walked right up to me and said, “Sarah, you are a laundry list of awful. “ It’s still only her word against mine and my EI says, “No, I am a laundry list of rad.”

Now of course, the caveat: There will always be moments when you cannot help but have your emotions swayed by the likes of others. If a friend is ill or you are at a stand up comedy show you may feel compelled into sadness or joy, but you have the power to decide that you will let them affect you. That’s the big ah ha with EI. You have the power to control how you feel, no one else does, only you. And that is some awesome independence.

This weekend as you celebrate the independence of a great nation, why not also celebrate the independence of a great person. Don’t let anybody tell you how you can or cannot feel. Only you can make yourself feel small. So make yourself feel grand!

Growing pains

I have this lovely little book that I read every morning. It’s just a page per day and it’s full of little stories or affirmations or ideas for how to lead a more lovely life. Lately the pages have been filled with anecdotes on gardening and flowers and the blooms of summer. The author recommends that every one would benefit from kneeling in the dirt, digging a hole and planting some seeds or flowers. I am not a gardener. First off I live in an apartment. Secondly, I am impatient. But I am also an avid follower of self-help goals so I decided to stick my hands in the dirt.

About a month ago I bought a package of seeds and some little pots and decided to make an herb garden. I filled the pots with soil, I planted the seeds, I sat them in the sunshine and I watered them. They never grew past the seedling phase and eventually they died. They died because I stopped watering them when I lost interest in the fact that they weren’t growing. I wanted them to grow faster.

Have you ever felt this way about your life? Has there ever been something you have been interested in, something you’ve been working on to better yourself or to grow and when you don’t see results, you stop tending to the project?

I see it happening all the time. Maybe you’ve started a weight loss program and when the scale doesn’t budge you give up. Perhaps you have been learning a new language and when you can’t understand the guy speaking Italian at the coffee shop, you quit, just like that. Is there anything you’ve started and stopped because it just didn’t happen fast enough?

Think about my herb garden. Those little seeds sprout from practically nothing: the tiniest grain of sand. All they have is dirt and water and hopefully some encouragement. They have to push their way through all that dirt and pierce the top of the soil and still they have so far to go but they won’t give up (not unless you do). They keep growing and blooming and breathing. But if you stop watering them, if you take away all their sunlight and their dirt and their encouragement, they will die. Well the same thing happens to us.

What is your current goal or project? Are you giving yourself the nutrients and oxygen to flourish? Are you adding kind words of encouragement on a daily basis? Are you practicing patience? The seeds will grow, they just need a little time and so do you. Take a sip of water. Take a deep breath and whisper to yourself. “I am growing right now.”

Lemons

Imagine a scenario:

You’re in a bad mood. Something awful has just entered your mind or happened. You are confused and devastated and sorry for yourself. You feel rubbish. All you want to do is curl up at home with a sappy movie and some chardonnay and cry until your eyes hurt and you’re so exhausted/drunk you fall asleep/pass out. Got the picture in your head? OK, now imagine that a well-meaning friend or co-worker or family member says, “Chin up, when life gives you lemons, make lemonade!” Or maybe they say. “When one door closes, another opens!” Or maybe they can’t finish their asinine comment because you have shoved a scarf in their mouth and pushed them down the stairs.

At least that’s what I imagine doing when my mood stinks and someone tries to turn it into a growth opportunity. Have you ever felt that way? Like miss happy Monday couldn't possibly understand how utterly awful your life/situation/relationship/problem is and how dare he or she have the audacity to try and pull you out of it. I know how that feels. I hate those people, and yet, I hate them because they are &%$#ing right!

Here’s the deal: Sometimes bad stuff happens. Sometimes bad thoughts happen. Sometimes even a good thing to one person may suck to another. Sometimes we feel so deep in the trenches of yucky that we assume we may never get out and there is nothing good that can come of it.

Well unfortunately as much as it’s awesome to stay stuck in the mud, it’s a lie. Something good can come from it. I am not saying that we need bad things to happen or that it’s good when bad things happen, I am saying that yes, sometimes, often times bad things will happen and when they do, we have a choice. We can either freak out and cry and scream and deny and rage and stress and sleep and eat and yell, for the rest of our lives, or we can freak out and cry and scream and rage and stress and sleep and eat and yell, for a moment. Then, we can take a breath. And as we breathe we have the ability to notice what it is that we are going to take from this situation. Will we become bitter and harder and angrier or will we rise above our sadness and learn something about ourselves, and how we want to continue to live our life? I hope that when (as it does) life kicks me in the ass, I am able to stop focusing on my bruised butt and take a gander at where I’ve landed.

I have a vision

Firstly I need to apologize; it has been a few weeks since I’ve written. I just haven’t been able to do it, physically and mentally. Physically, typing has been proving to be somewhat painful and mentally I have had little to inspire others with. Some days it is hard enough to inspire myself. Fortunately for me and for you I have pulled myself out of un-motivation and now I am here to help y’all do the same should you ever find yourself feeling sluggish, un-inspired or downright apathetic.

It all started a couple nights ago when my mother (she really is the basis for all my good ideas, I think when I make it big, I’ll stick her on the payroll) suggested I make a vision board. A vision board for those of you who don’t regularly watch Oprah is basically a large piece of paper that you have collaged with pictures you’ve found, pictures you’ve painted, words, sayings or really anything that inspires you and makes you go, “yeah, that’s it, that’s what I want in my life.” The point of a vision board is to put your goals to the forefront of your mind. I know it still seems woo-woo to some of you, but thinking about positive experiences and goals actually helps to achieve them, while thinking of negative experiences and failures helps to push us farther away from our goals. It can also make us feel lousy and lower our immune system; negative thinking sucks!

Anyway I decided of course to make one and set about keeping it strictly focused on health. I swept through oodles of magazines and cut out any picture that made me feel healthy and positive. Some of the pictures had to do with health and others were random but just made me feel good, so in they went. After I had exhausted all my magazines I laid the cutouts on a piece of poster board and went nuts with some scotch tape. (Glue is good too; I just didn’t have any on hand) My finished product looks a little like something you’d make in grade school art class and it’s perfect (for me). After I’d finished, I set it aside and didn’t really think about it for the rest of the night. I did this all last night.

This morning I woke up feeling amazing. I think my body felt about the same but my mind felt like new. I had a spring in my step, which was noticeable. People at work even commented on it. I was able to complete tasks which have for the past week been too difficult, like taking out the recycling, breaking down a large box, and typing this article. I even went for a three-mile walk and while it’s not like I was pain free, it was bearable and I enjoyed it, more than I have in weeks.

This didn’t happen because some magazines made it so, this happened because I believed it would. Positive thinking really does help. Unfortunately it’s often really difficult to get out of a negative slump (I’ve been there) and a really great tool for pulling you out of the depths is to make a vision board of your goals.

What is it you want? Do you find yourself thinking it will never happen? Time to get out some magazines and start imagining it will. You don’t even need to understand or believe the pictures you use, just stick em on and see what happens. I truly believe it will change your future, and mine.

I wish...

When I was a little girl, I believed that every time my mom drove through the rainbow tunnel connecting SF to Marin County I could hold my breath and make a wish and it was sure to come true. I spent years turning blue and wishing my heart out for all the things I wanted. Well actually for just one thing; a snoopy snow cone machine. There was nothing I wanted more. I knew that if I could just get my hands on one of those awesome pieces of snow cone making magic, my life would be perfect. I also knew (because I was a young girl and young girls know all there is to know about making wishes) that if I told anyone about my wish it would never come true. The only way to really get my snoopy snow cone machine was to keep hush-hush; it was my secret, my wish.

Every time I went through that tunnel, I wished. Every time I blew out birthday candles, I wished. Every time I blew an eyelash off my finger or scattered the pollen off a flower, I wished. I held my breath and wished for years.

Unfortunately my wishes were not granted. I did not get my snoopy snow cone machine and eventually I stopped wishing for it. Then one day when I was 17 and no longer vying for snow cones I jokingly told my mother the story about how my wish had never come true.

Do you know what she said?

“Sarah, I had no idea you wanted that. If you had told me, I would have gotten you one. It’s no use making a wish you never express, how can you ever expect it to come true? You need to ask for what you want.”

Best advice I have ever gotten.

Best advice I often forget.

The BF and I drove to Marin this weekend and driving through the tunnel I habitually drew in a big gulp of air, puffed out my cheeks and wished. I did not wish for a cool toy or a new dress or a bigger bank balance. I wished I were healthier. It was unconscious. I didn’t plan out this wish. I wasn’t holding out for this car ride in order to finally declare my needs, it just happened.

Can anyone relate? Has anyone ever wished they were thinner or fitter or smarter or younger? Did you tell anyone? I am not talking about whining about it over drinks with your friends (I’ve done that) and I’m not talking about saying negative things to yourself repeatedly until you feel bad (yep, done that too). I’m talking about actually saying out loud (to the wall, your BF or your dog) with no judgment and not a hint of self-loathing, what it is you want. Then after you have declared your wish, figure out what it is you need to do to get it.

Sarah the 6 yr old had only a few options for getting a snow cone machine: telling my mother or asking grandma or Santa Claus were my only choices. But Sarah the 34 yr old who would like to be a little healthier can actually do something about it.

It’s time to stop wishing for things that you are not willing to take the initiative to get.

Want to be healthier? Stop holding your breath and make a change. By telling yourself and the people around you what it is you are trying to accomplish you will receive the support you need to make your wishes come true. This does not mean that wishing upon a star no longer has it's place. I think there is nothing greater than hope and wishes and magic but if you aren't willing to work hard for your wishes than the magic of the world can never help you get them.

In the end I did get my snoopy snow cone machine. My mom found one at a garage sale and gave it to me for my 18^th birthday. Moral: wishes do come true, if you make them.

Too Tight Jeans

Raise your hand if you have a pair of jeans or trousers in your closet that do not fit you...Or maybe its a dress that just won't zip. Or maybe it's a suit that feels ready to tear every time you lift your arms. Perhaps you are holding onto a pair of shoes that are just gorgeous but hurt like the dickens every time you wear them giving you blisters and back pain. Any of these sound familiar? I have a pair of jeans that I bought years ago when I was going through a really bad breakup and using anger to over-exercise. They fit me for about a month and then I became happier and they haven't fit since. That doesn't mean I don't try them on occasionally and feel bad about myself for not being "smaller". Why am I holding onto a pair of jeans that do not fit and have not fit for several years?

"But Sarah, I was healthier three years ago, it wasn't anger running, it was right before my wedding and that's the reason I bought my jeans. But now my doctor tells me to lose weight and so I want to fit into my older jeans. I have joined and gym and I am eating right and I am drinking my weight in water and I am going to lose weight and fit into those jeans. Those jeans are my inspiration! They keep me going"

OK, fair enough. But let me ask you this. When you try on jeans (or whatever your non fitting item is) that are too tight and you cannot zip up, does it make you feel motivated and good or does it make you feel bad about yourself? I know for me when I try on clothes that are too tight, I do not grin from ear to ear as I lace up my sneakers and merrily go for a run. I feel worse and I often think that eating or sitting around feeling bad about myself or possibly trying on more clothes that don't fit will help. And unfortunately it never does. I have found through my own experience that holding onto clothes that don't fit us is not inspiration, it is depression.

And the same thing goes for the clothes that don't fit in our minds. I have a whole drawer of "mind clothes" that haven't fit for ages; "truths" I tell myself to make me better. I bet you have some too. A few examples of tight jean truths are: "I am such an idiot. Why do I always do that? Nice guys finish last. In order to be beautiful I need to look like (insert your person here). I am too (fat/skinny/pale/dark). Why would anybody (love/cherish/date) me?"

These statements are just like your Too Tight Jeans. Every time you try them on (or say them to yourself) they make you feel worse, not better. Why do we tell ourselves we are not good enough? I think it's because we think that by saying it, it will help, we will feel better, we will do something about it. But usually we don't. Why don't we stop saying/wearing these clothes and just say/wear something else? Why don't we get rid of our TTJ and wear some clothes that fit.

Even if you think the TTJ's you say are true. Even if you truly believe that you need to be more ______ in order to be more ______. Is it making you feel better to say that? Is it making you more motivated to achieve it? Is it actually helping? Or is it just inspiring you to feel worse?

This week I would like you to take a look at your Too Tight Jeans. The ones in your closet and the ones in your head. Its the perfect time for a little spring cleaning.

Health is a Battlefield

Many moons ago my mom gave me some advice concerning relationships. She said, “Sarah, pick your battles.” I looked up at her naively, “But mama, I am never going to have a fight in my relationship, it’s going to be perfect.” Little did I know, even prince charming is going to piss you off once in awhile and now I know what she meant: Not every fight is worth fighting. Sometimes, you just have to let go and give in. Pick the fights that mean something to you, or rather, pick the ones that mean the most something because they will all mean a little something.

I feel the same way about nutrition.

There are so many do’s and don’ts. There are just so many. Can you even digest them all? There is so much information out there and I am reading it every single day. I know you are too. Sometimes you even read it from me. J That’s why I pick my battles.

Stay away from canned foods. Stay away from processed foods. Eat coconut oil and salmon. Don’t eat salmon. Don’t eat tuna. Take more vitamin B. Don’t eat meat. Eat meat. Don’t eat anything with a name you can’t pronounce. Eat fiber, no really, eat more fiber, and why not take a fiber supplement. Coffee is evil. Tea is good. Wine is good. Only drink luke-warm Brita water and food that came from a farm down the street and fruit that wasn’t picked but merely fell from a tree and chicken made from soy that tastes like beef and never forget to eat your acai berries. Or wait, was it blueberries? And for Heavens sake stay away from artificial sweeteners. I am sure you can think of about 800 more.

Do you really want to fight all those battles? Maybe you do. Maybe they all mean a little something to you. But do they all mean a lot of something to you?

I think the way that you mediate between the a lots and the a littles is by figuring out why you are worrying about them in the first place.

Are you trying to lower your cholesterol? Is the number one priority on your list to lose weight or have strong bones? Are you trying to gain weight or muscle? Are you worried about your heart or your lungs? Are you trying to prevent cancer and other illnesses? Why are you worried? Is it because you saw an ad on TV that told you to be worried? Is it because you read a book that said, “be afraid”? Is it because your doctor told you or you read about a study in science daily? Is it just an innate sense of health that keeps you wanting to strive to be the healthiest you can be, or do you just want all around general good health?

All of these questions will yield a different battle.

My battle is with an inflamed wrist that seems to act up when I eat too many processed inflammatory foods. That is a battle worth fighting for me. That means that I am not really that concerned about whether my water is filtered or my vegetables are organic. What I am concerned about is how much sugar and processed chemicals I consume. I recently watched Food Inc and it scarred me for life so now I will only eat organic meat and dairy. I am fighting that battle all the way to the bank (man organic meat is expensive) but I am not worrying about the cholesterol in said meat. I am eating it anyway, fat, cholesterol and all. I love, love, love vegetables so I eat them in abundance every day. As for the processed foods, there are these ice cream bars chock full of chemicals that I absolutely adore. Do I refrain completely because of said wrist? No, sometimes that is a battle I'm not going to fight.

I do not have the time, wallet or fear to eat all organic, stop eating meat, alcohol, coffee or aspartame completely. I eat food out of cans; sometimes I drink soda, most of the time I am pretty healthy…except when I’m not.

See what I mean? Being healthy doesn’t mean fighting every food battle. Sometimes we need to give in, read: eat skinny cow. Sometimes we need to fight and we need to say, no, I will not be having seconds/eating that non-organic potato/drinking that diet soda/eating while watching TV.

The point is that we need to figure it out for ourselves.

We know what we can and want to do. We are the only people in our relationship with ourselves and so we are the only ones who know which battles are worth the fight.

Baby, Baby

Many of you know that I have been in LA for the past week helping a dear dear friend with her two handfuls of joy. She has a 17 month old and a 17 day old. Basically I am tired and in heaven at the same time. There are so many pieces of inspiration for me this week that it has been difficult to choose which bit I want to write about; difficult but not not impossible.

The 17 month old is a little girl named Bela, who might just be the cutest little girl I have ever seen. I know I am unbelievably biased, but honestly, she is. Bela is also the healthiest person I have ever met. I'm not even being biased here, it's true.

And so this update is about how if we could all be a little more like Bela (or many other babies and toddlers) we would all be a bit healthier. Here are my top three reasons why she is my new guru of health.

She sleeps for 12 hours every night and has a 2 hour nap every day. Ok, I know that is probably a bit excessive for the average grown-up but it certainly couldn't hurt to try and get a little closer to the toddler schedule. I mean would it be so difficult to go to bed 15 minutes earlier? Bela doesn't always want to go down, she cries and says no and then promptly falls asleep. That is exactly what would happen to you. A few tears, a little fuss but if you make yourself go to bed, you will eventually sleep. We train ourselves to sleep at a certain time. If you start going to bed earlier, it will start to become a habit.

She gets upset and then gets over it. Let's say she's upset because she has to put on shoes (isn't that a bit of a pain for us all?) she stomps her bare feet, lets out a little moan and then goes off looking for her favorite toy. When she has to come back inside after playing, she gets a little flustered, bursts out a bit of a cry, walks through the door and looks at you expectantly as she asks for some apple. Out with the old and in with the new. Wouldn't it be great if when something bad happened, we just got upset and then let it go? I'm not saying you shouldn't get upset; I am all for getting upset. Let it out! Then let it go!

And Bela's number one awesomely healthy behavior? She eats when she's hungry and stops when she's full!

Can you believe it? I know, it's amazing, but it's true. She will never finish something just because she's sad or distracted or angry. If she's sad or distracted or angry, she is just that. She is incapable of eating while feeling those feelings. Next time you want to raid the fridge at midnight, ask yourself, are you feeling something and mistaking it for hunger or do you really want that pint of ice cream?

There are so many more too, a couple of my favorites that didn't make the top three are:

She laughs all the time
She exercises for AT LEAST an hour every day
She is inquisitive about the world
She loves to read

This week let's all try to be a little more childlike in our outlook on health. Come on, be a big baby with Bela and me.

You are AMAZING!

The most wonderful thing happened to me this morning. I was simply going about my day when I happened to wander into the ladies room here at UCSF and was bombarded by positively inspirational and complimentary post it notes stuck on every single mirror. Instead of noticing how tired I looked or how dirty my hair seemed, I smiled and actually giggled a little as I read:

“You’re kind of a big deal; just saying.”

As I walked out and passed by the full-length mirror I was hit with a burst of confidence as I read, “Wow, you look great today!”

It’s really difficult to feel bad about yourself when you are reading positive statements while looking in the mirror. It the same reason why we end up feeling so bad when we continually tell ourselves we’re not beautiful or we’re stupid or we’re just not good enough. If we tell ourselves those things enough times we will start to believe them and we will end up living them as truth instead of the thing we made up in our head.

If we keep telling ourselves we rock, then eventually we will start to believe that too and isn’t it better to believe you’re awesome than to believe you suck? It just takes practice.

So what better way to practice than to take an example from the UCSF feel good fairy? This week I want everyone to write some positive statements on a few post-it notes. If you can’t think of what to write, have a friend write it for you or use some of the examples below. Then put those post-its on every mirror in your house. If your husband/wife/child/roommate/cat thinks you’re nuts, oh well. Tell them I am making you do it.

Put them up on your steering wheel or on your computer. Secretly put them up in the bathroom at your work. Leave them on your neighbor’s desk or stick it to a seat on the bus. Lets make this a week of reminding ourselves, and others that we are amazing, because we are. I truly believe that.

Some possible post-it’s

You are beautiful, no I mean it; you are gorgeous.

You blow me away!

You are awesome, I mean really awesome.

You are kind of a big deal, seriously.

You light up this room.

Wow! You are hot as fire today!

Damn you’re smart!

Come on, seriously? Is that smile legal?

Be Good to your Body, it’s where you Live

Write away your fear

This morning a client informed me of an article in Science magazine about a recent study testing the effects of expressive writing, about test anxiety, on test results. Turns out the results were conclusive. (I also found an article on the study told in more lay mans terms)

The study found that taking a few minutes to write about the forthcoming anxiety actually helped alleviate it and the students performed better on their exams. I think that we could use this information to help us in all kinds of situations.

This totally goes against what we naturally feel inclined to do. Have you ever told someone who was nervous about something, “think of something else; just let your mind relax and think happy thoughts?” I certainly have. I tell myself that all the time. Just be positive, Sarah. Don’t focus on the negative Sarah. The glass is half full Sarah. And that’s all well and good for daily life thoughts but I am talking about specific instances when anxieties are getting the best of you.

Maybe you have to give a speech or sing karaoke or disappoint a friend or go to a high school reunion.

Maybe taking a few minutes before doing any of the above things could actually help alleviate the stress. The idea being that if you get the anxiety out of your mind and out of your body, you will have more space for success. Think of all the cortisol building up in your body while you fret over an impending work meeting. Put those worries to paper and you just might surprise yourself with the space you have left to wow your co-workers.

Pick something, anything that might normally cause you anxiety and all this week immediately before you do it, try writing about it. That’s the clincher too, it has to be immediately before you do it otherwise you will have tons of time to jack the anxiety back up.

Do you get worked up before rush hour with impending doom about the traffic? Free write all your fears; the worst thing that could happen, then get in the car, turn on the tunes and drive home happy. The anxiety can fester on your desk.

Nervous about a first date? Write out those anxieties and all that scares you, then put on some lipstick (or whatever date attire makes you feel great) and proceed with confidence, because your worries will be literally left at home.

I know that you might be scared that if you write down your fears they will somehow be real and they will come true but I promise that’s not going to happen. That anxiety you feel is living inside of you and putting it on paper is only going to get it out.

What’s the worst that could happen? Now on a count of three, let’s write…

Be Good to your Body, it's where you Live

Namaste

Have you ever wondered what yoga teachers mean at the end of the class when they say, Namaste? The first time I ever heard a yoga teacher say that, I felt insecure. I wondered why I didn’t know what it meant? I wondered why everyone else in the class looked so serene and serious and how they all seemed to know just the right way to bow and how far down to bow. It was like they were all a part of this special church and I was the girl in the back who was taking communion but had never been confirmed. I was sure everyone was staring, wondering why I was drinking the wine; it’s so obvious I wasn’t ready for the blood of Christ.

For years, I muddled my way through yoga classes pretending I had some semblance of a clue as to why we were chanting, bowing, or continuing to say that word, namaste. I even started hearing people using it in non-yoga moments. Famous people started bowing during acceptance speeches, yoga girls were using namaste as a thank you when the barista handed them their skinny chai lattes. It’s emblazoned across t-shirts and baseball caps, it’s everywhere, this word, and I was still unsure what it meant. Eventually I drummed up enough courage to ask a yoga teacher; I was a little nervous but it went pretty well. The teacher said to me, “It means I bow to you.” Oh … I see, now I completely understand. I walked away nodding my head and smiling like a person who has suddenly had their eyes opened ... not.

I bow to you? That’s it? It’s just a description of what everyone has been doing?

What was she talking about? I was even more confused than before. Why was it so important? Why were celebrities saying it? Does it even need to be said if that’s what you’re doing when you say it? So many questions … if only there had been Google then.

Since that fateful yoga class, I have done my own fair share of studying and yes, it does mean, I bow to you, but it’s much more than that. The mantra I use for myself is this: When that greatness, which you possess and which lives inside of you, is shining bright, and that greatness, which I possess and which is living inside of me, is also shining bright, we are connected. That light I am referring to is you; you when you are alive and present in the moment.

You could say higher being, light, spiritual being, God, or divinity. It can be done as a salute, a bow, or a respect, it can be said at the end and beginning of a yoga class, as a thank you or as a greeting, but no matter what, when or how, it all seems to mean about the same thing. One definition a yoga teacher I love often uses is:

“I honor the place in you in which the entire Universe dwells. I honor the place in you, which is of love, of integrity, of wisdom, and of peace. When you are in that place in you, and I am in that place in me, we are one.”

Sometimes in daily life, it is really easy to get tunnel vision. Often I will only see what is directly in front of me; I can easily forget that the world is bigger than my apartment, UCSF, or San Francisco. This week, I urge you to pay attention and to honor those people around you who contribute to your world. That is what I think namaste means. I think it is recognition that we are all in this together and that if each and every one of us tries to stay open and present, we will all be connected. Honor can mean whatever you want it to mean. It might mean that you say good morning to people as you pass them on the street, maybe it means you take an extra moment to say thank you to someone who holds open your door. Maybe you let someone go ahead of you in line, or you pay someone’s bridge toll. Perhaps you volunteer on the weekends at a shelter or at your kid’s soccer camp, I don’t know, it’s all relative and it’s all personal. All I do know is, if we all try a little harder to respect and honor our fellow woman, we will all be better off, we will all be living in a better world and we will all be able to say, Namaste.

Be Good to your Body, it’s where you Live

Walking with Lalane

I would be surprised if someone reading this hadn’t heard of Jack Lalane. He’s the guy who was always trying to sell us juicers late at night, right after Cindy Crawford tries to improve my skin and George Foreman insists I start grilling more. I am sure you know him. He’s famous for much more than juicers though. He is the original fitness guru convert. He was a junk food addict and at age 15 heard Paul Bragg (who makes the best salad dressing in the universe by the way) speak and it changed his life. It was all health after that. Jack invented some of the first weight machines and opened a gym in our very own Oaktown. He was a chiropractor, body builder and health extraordinaire. He recently died at the age of 96 (just last week) and in memory of his amazing contributions to the world of health I am dedicating this weeks wellness update to him.

When thinking of what aspect of Jack to write about, a girlfriend mentioned the health of Jack’s wife, Elaine. “Did you know she was a smoker, overweight and eating donuts for breakfast every day when jack met her?”

Jack was so into Elaine that he fell for her, tobacco and all and they started dating. Elaine began to change her habits because of spending so much time with Jack. They would exercise together regularly. She started eating better and eventually quit smoking. I am not saying that in order to be healthy you need to marry a health nut but it makes sense that spending time with a healthy person could eventually rub off on you.

Think about it in the opposite direction. If you are going out to dinner with a group of friends and the majority of your friends want to eat pizza, it’s going to pretty hard to say, “No! I want something healthier.” It’s much easier to say, “Oh, I will just order a salad and have one slice.” You compromise to fit the majority. If you are with a group of health nuts all vying for a nutritious meal, it’s going to be equally as difficult to insist on pizza.

I am obviously not telling everyone to dump his or her Doritos loving amigos. Heck, even I love Doritos every now and then. But if you are trying to exercise more, eat healthier or decrease stress, maybe spending more time with your like-minded buddies is a good start.

This week would be a great time to call that friend who loves power walking and make a date for some chat/walk time. Or have the Smiths over for dinner this weekend (Did you know Laura Smith doesn’t eat sugar?) Maybe you should spend your lunch hour with Donn from down the hall. (Doesn’t he meditate at lunch?)

Ok, here’s the caveat: Sometimes I have negative feelings towards overly healthy people. Yes, it’s true. The person who only eats fruit and nuts that have fallen from the tree and can’t go out to dinner unless the produce is from an organic farm next door and the fitness freak who can’t spend a day just relaxing in front of the TV. Sometimes these people make me crazy. It’s just as detrimental to be fanatical about health as it is to be unfanatical. We all need to be balanced. So if you are the person who can’t go out to lunch with friends because it means missing spinning class, or you are unable to enjoy a bite of your daughters birthday cake because of the calorie content, I recommend hanging out with some oppositely minded people this week. Let go for a day. Have some cake, dance a little, and sleep in. Health is about balance. I think Jack Lalane was great but he may have been lacking some balance, which is why I think Elaine was just as good for him as he was for her.

Be Good to your Body, it’s where you Live

Feel the Pain

Lately I have been in an unbearable amount of pain. A few months ago I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis. RA is one of those pesky autoimmune diseases where the immune system attacks itself. Unfortunately it’s attacking my right wrist in a pretty bad ass way. What’s amazing is just how unpredictable it seems to be and also how much it hurts. Being in pain is like being in a constant bad mood. I am just a little bit cranky all of the time. It’s also affecting other parts of my body. I protect my wrist from possible pain by tensing my shoulders and tightening my jaw. In doing that I am most likely causing the pain in my wrist to worsen because I can’t relax.

Most of you know that I am a mindfulness maniac and I believe we should all be paying more attention to our bodies, our minds and our meals, but our pain? I mean come on, why would I want to purposely draw attention to this part of my body that hurts so bad I want to cry sometimes. I don’t want to pay more attention to it. I want to escape it. I want drugs. Give me something to take the pain away!

Unfortunately my doctor doesn’t make 8pm drug runs on a Monday night so I was stuck with mindfulness. I sat down on my sofa and looked at my hand. I started to describe to myself what I saw without any judgment. I described the way the skin looked on my wrist. I counted the freckles and hiked the terrain of my veins with my eyes. Next I began to describe the feelings in my wrist and hand. Words like sharp and tightness and warm and cold and pulsing began to surface. I stopped labeling these sensations as the thing that is pain and rather as the sensations coming and going. Because it’s true that the pain does come and go and if I focus on the pain, this thing that I hate, my zoom lens is incapable of seeing anything but it. If I keep telling myself how painful it is, I risk getting caught up in un-mindfulness and I am making pain the enemy. If I instead describe the feelings and the present moment, it becomes something else. It's not something bad or good, it just is.

Does this make sense? Mindfulness is not about just paying attention to something. It’s about paying attention without judgment. Just notice it. Be curious about it. Describe it.

This week I would love for everyone to join me in taking a look at your pain and actually noticing what it feels like. No pejorative terms allowed. Instead use words like heavy, tight, tingling, sharp, tense, stiff and dull. You can use pain that’s emotional or physical. Mindfulness can work for both; in fact, it’s great for both. And it’s actually been proven to help reduce overall “pain” and change our brains for the better, so there.

So get focused, get present, and get rid of pain for good.

Be Good to your Body, it's where you Live

Rituals for Health

As we near closer to Christmas (only 5 days away) I can’t stop thinking about all the rituals in my life. I am a fan of Christmas but whether you celebrate Hannukah, Kwanza or Vesak, you are participating in a ritual and according to scientists, it’s good for us.

Rituals are described as “Who we are” and routines are “What needs to be done”.

I for one have a heaping of routines. I routinely go to bed by 10pm. I drink coffee every morning and tea in the afternoon. I walk my dog. I clean my ears, I take my vitamins… The list could go on and on.

As far as rituals are concerned, I have a bunch of those too. Sunday morning big breakfasts and rainy day movie marathons. Saving the wishbone. Thanksgiving turkey. Decorating the Christmas tree. Addressing my Christmas cards while watching Miracle on 34th Street. Blowing the pollen off a dandelion while making a wish. Holding my breath in the Golden Gate tunnel. These are all rituals. Oh and one more I forgot, exercise. That’s right my friends, exercise is a ritual for me; a ritual I routinely do. It is something I do for my health and it pays me back with a double serving of good for ya. Ideally I would like everyone to start thinking about making exercise into a ritual. Something that isn’t just necessary but something that makes you who you are. You are healthy, not you are being healthy right now. But my advice on how to make exercise into a ritual or at least a routine is for another article.

Today I want to express my hope and wish for everyone during the holidays (whatever you may be celebrating) that you embrace the ritual closest to your heart and know that in doing nothing more than that, you are living a healthier life.

I know that I am going to sit around the Christmas tree and pass out presents and eat too much sugar and listen to cheesy Bing Crosby music and watch It's a wonderful life too many times and take lots of pictures and tell everyone I know how much I love them. I am going to giggle with anticipation at having my presents opened and loved. That is part of my Christmas ritual. May yours be just as perfect, for you.

Be Good to your body, it's where you live!

Holiday Party Survival Guide

Reading the lovely Facebook yesterday, I noticed a comment from a friend of mine, “Why do magazines always tell you to stock up on healthy foods before going to that holiday party? It doesn’t matter how much broccoli I eat before a party, if there are cookies there, I will want one of those too!”

How many of you can relate?

I know that many times in my life I have eaten a meal before going out in the hopes that it will keep me from munching and somehow ended up eating two meals: the healthy meal and the “oh I’m not really that hungry, ok just a bite or maybe 17 meal.

The main problem here is that it’s pretty easy when faced with the delectables of a holiday party to eat when we’re already full. Actually, if I’m perfectly honest, it’s easy to eat when I’m full if there’s food around and I’m near it. This phenomena doubles if I’ve had alcohol.

Don’t get me wrong, I love the sentiment of eat healthy food first but I know that instead of helping me it’s going to make me eat two meals. A better idea for me and maybe for you is just to be honest with yourself.

I am going to Jane’s party. Jane will serve cookies and crab cakes and champagne. I will savor a bite of everything I want. I will enjoy it and truly taste the magnificent flavors. I will go home feeling full but not guilty because I was supposed to eat at the party. Tomorrow I will have oatmeal for breakfast and I will reminisce about how awesome it feels to just enjoy something during the holidays.

Bon Appétit to everyone!

SAD

Well it looks as if our beautiful warm (often times hot) weather seems to have gone to sleep in order to make way for winter. Believe me I am the first to mourn the absence of warm sunshine and I am certainly no fan of cold wind and rain, however I am also aware that as the clouds creep in I must make extra sure to keep the mean reds from following suit.

I have my good moments when I start to feel all excited because I finally get to wear that cute winter coat and who doesn’t love a big cup of cocoa by the fire. Not that I have a fire, but the thought is nice J

Then there are other days when I am tired and cold and don’t want to get out of bed and think that maybe just taking the rest of the winter off, catching up on my prime time and eating everything in my emergency earthquake cupboard might be a good idea. This is when I know that I am SAD. Seasonal Affective Disorder is a form of depression that usually occurs during the winter months. It is not certain what exactly causes SAD but that it most likely has something to do with the decrease in our bodies’ exposure to sunlight. It can make you depressed or anxious, increase your appetite and weight gain, and it can also lessen your desire to be social. Scientists have also found that people who are depressed will have lower levels of serotonin.

If you think that perhaps you are SAD then I suggest contacting your doctor. If you feel down but your symptoms are less severe, then you might be harboring a case of the winter blues. Either way something proactive you can do to feel better is get outside and exercise.

I know it sounds crazy but it really does work. The natural light (even in winter) has been known to lessen the effects of SAD and the winter blues and exercise is a natural serotonin high. So when you start to feel like a bear about to go in for hibernation, remind yourself that going outside for a walk will actually improve your mood even if it seems like it won’t.

Make sure if you are exercising outdoors in the cold that you pay close attention to your clothing. I am talking about layers. Keep a fitted wicking layer close to your body. Material such as polypropylene, silk, polyester, Thermax or wool are good options. Try to avoid cotton as your base layer. Because cotton traps moisture it will stay wet and draw heat away from you. A middle layer such as fleece keeps you insulated and a top layer to protect you from the wind. Even when it’s cold, exercising will get your body heat up so feel free to de-layer as you see fit. Much of our body heat escapes from our hands and head so why not wear a hat and gloves too. It’s also a good idea to keep an extra sweater handy for after your exercise so that you don’t get chilly as your body cools down. If you are from Minnesota and you think the weather right now is warm and balmy then by all means skip the gloves. I on the other hand am from California and I am cold all the time.

So this week and for the rest of the winter whenever you start to feel like the winter blues might start creeping up on you, get outside and move! Your mood will thank you in the morning.

Be Good to your body, it's where you live!

Give thanks

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. It’s the best because I get together with my family and friends and it’s the one day of the year when you are supposed to eat all day. I love saying grace. I love the sleepy, lazy early evening nap and the next day leftovers. I love stuffing and gravy. I love my families’ open door on Thanksgiving policy. I love silly homemade tracing your hand turkey art projects. I love Thanksgiving for so many reasons that sometimes I forget why we are celebrating in the first place.

Remember the point of Thanksgiving is to give thanks for all that we have, hence the name.

In honor of this noble holiday, (a holiday we should be celebrating a little bit every single day of the year) I propose to give thanks every day this week.

After reading this article, I would like everyone to get out a pen and make a list. A list of everything you are thankful, grateful or feel blessed to have or know.

Then you should ruminate on your list all week.

Take a big deep breath and think about whomever or what ever you happen to believe in. I mean God, Buddha, your mother, the flowers, the struggling artist, the nation. You pick. Then when you have the picture of your Universe and all you hold dear, let out a big sigh of thanks because life is pretty good, even when it’s hard or cold or sad. There is always something to be thankful for. Right now at this very moment I am thankful for my job, my family, my friends (I don't know what I would do without you), my full belly, my warm clothes, my beautiful view, my proximity to GG Park and my short work week.

People have even done studies about gratitude and apparently it is actually good for you. Gratitude is supposed to lessen stress and reduce the risk of heart attacks.

“Wait, what did I hear? Lessen stress? And all I have to do is appreciate and express thanks for something I am thankful for and appreciate already? Wow, that doesn’t sound so hard.”

It’s also been studied that people who maintain a thankful attitude throughout their life are less likely to have high blood pressure, depression, phobias and alcoholism.

So this week, every day, including Thursday I would like you to focus on the great things in your life. The special people, the wonderful memories and all the goodness in between. Maybe…hopefully it will stick and you will find yourself being thankful every day of the year.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Be Good to your body, it's where you live!