I wish...

When I was a little girl, I believed that every time my mom drove through the rainbow tunnel connecting SF to Marin County I could hold my breath and make a wish and it was sure to come true. I spent years turning blue and wishing my heart out for all the things I wanted. Well actually for just one thing; a snoopy snow cone machine. There was nothing I wanted more. I knew that if I could just get my hands on one of those awesome pieces of snow cone making magic, my life would be perfect. I also knew (because I was a young girl and young girls know all there is to know about making wishes) that if I told anyone about my wish it would never come true. The only way to really get my snoopy snow cone machine was to keep hush-hush; it was my secret, my wish.

Every time I went through that tunnel, I wished. Every time I blew out birthday candles, I wished. Every time I blew an eyelash off my finger or scattered the pollen off a flower, I wished. I held my breath and wished for years.

Unfortunately my wishes were not granted. I did not get my snoopy snow cone machine and eventually I stopped wishing for it. Then one day when I was 17 and no longer vying for snow cones I jokingly told my mother the story about how my wish had never come true.

Do you know what she said?

“Sarah, I had no idea you wanted that. If you had told me, I would have gotten you one. It’s no use making a wish you never express, how can you ever expect it to come true? You need to ask for what you want.”

Best advice I have ever gotten.

Best advice I often forget.

The BF and I drove to Marin this weekend and driving through the tunnel I habitually drew in a big gulp of air, puffed out my cheeks and wished. I did not wish for a cool toy or a new dress or a bigger bank balance. I wished I were healthier. It was unconscious. I didn’t plan out this wish. I wasn’t holding out for this car ride in order to finally declare my needs, it just happened.

Can anyone relate? Has anyone ever wished they were thinner or fitter or smarter or younger? Did you tell anyone? I am not talking about whining about it over drinks with your friends (I’ve done that) and I’m not talking about saying negative things to yourself repeatedly until you feel bad (yep, done that too). I’m talking about actually saying out loud (to the wall, your BF or your dog) with no judgment and not a hint of self-loathing, what it is you want. Then after you have declared your wish, figure out what it is you need to do to get it.

Sarah the 6 yr old had only a few options for getting a snow cone machine: telling my mother or asking grandma or Santa Claus were my only choices. But Sarah the 34 yr old who would like to be a little healthier can actually do something about it.

It’s time to stop wishing for things that you are not willing to take the initiative to get.

Want to be healthier? Stop holding your breath and make a change. By telling yourself and the people around you what it is you are trying to accomplish you will receive the support you need to make your wishes come true. This does not mean that wishing upon a star no longer has it's place. I think there is nothing greater than hope and wishes and magic but if you aren't willing to work hard for your wishes than the magic of the world can never help you get them.

In the end I did get my snoopy snow cone machine. My mom found one at a garage sale and gave it to me for my 18^th birthday. Moral: wishes do come true, if you make them.

Too Tight Jeans

Raise your hand if you have a pair of jeans or trousers in your closet that do not fit you...Or maybe its a dress that just won't zip. Or maybe it's a suit that feels ready to tear every time you lift your arms. Perhaps you are holding onto a pair of shoes that are just gorgeous but hurt like the dickens every time you wear them giving you blisters and back pain. Any of these sound familiar? I have a pair of jeans that I bought years ago when I was going through a really bad breakup and using anger to over-exercise. They fit me for about a month and then I became happier and they haven't fit since. That doesn't mean I don't try them on occasionally and feel bad about myself for not being "smaller". Why am I holding onto a pair of jeans that do not fit and have not fit for several years?

"But Sarah, I was healthier three years ago, it wasn't anger running, it was right before my wedding and that's the reason I bought my jeans. But now my doctor tells me to lose weight and so I want to fit into my older jeans. I have joined and gym and I am eating right and I am drinking my weight in water and I am going to lose weight and fit into those jeans. Those jeans are my inspiration! They keep me going"

OK, fair enough. But let me ask you this. When you try on jeans (or whatever your non fitting item is) that are too tight and you cannot zip up, does it make you feel motivated and good or does it make you feel bad about yourself? I know for me when I try on clothes that are too tight, I do not grin from ear to ear as I lace up my sneakers and merrily go for a run. I feel worse and I often think that eating or sitting around feeling bad about myself or possibly trying on more clothes that don't fit will help. And unfortunately it never does. I have found through my own experience that holding onto clothes that don't fit us is not inspiration, it is depression.

And the same thing goes for the clothes that don't fit in our minds. I have a whole drawer of "mind clothes" that haven't fit for ages; "truths" I tell myself to make me better. I bet you have some too. A few examples of tight jean truths are: "I am such an idiot. Why do I always do that? Nice guys finish last. In order to be beautiful I need to look like (insert your person here). I am too (fat/skinny/pale/dark). Why would anybody (love/cherish/date) me?"

These statements are just like your Too Tight Jeans. Every time you try them on (or say them to yourself) they make you feel worse, not better. Why do we tell ourselves we are not good enough? I think it's because we think that by saying it, it will help, we will feel better, we will do something about it. But usually we don't. Why don't we stop saying/wearing these clothes and just say/wear something else? Why don't we get rid of our TTJ and wear some clothes that fit.

Even if you think the TTJ's you say are true. Even if you truly believe that you need to be more ______ in order to be more ______. Is it making you feel better to say that? Is it making you more motivated to achieve it? Is it actually helping? Or is it just inspiring you to feel worse?

This week I would like you to take a look at your Too Tight Jeans. The ones in your closet and the ones in your head. Its the perfect time for a little spring cleaning.

I want to go to there

Last year I saw a commercial for Old Spice body wash and I liked it so much, I re-watched it on you tube. I emailed it to my friends, I posted it on Facebook and I promptly went out and bought said body wash.

Recently at a Mexican restaurant I ordered a DOS XX for the sole reason that the commercials for “the most interesting man in the world” are the most interesting thing on TV to me.

And two days ago I found myself wanting to leave the comfort of my own home because an ad on TV for the Olive Garden made me believe that my life would be better with breadsticks.

Point?

I do not particularly like the smell of old spice. And I like it even less on me than I like smelling it on someone of the opposite sex. That means purchasing old spice body wash was a waste of money and just strange. However it was pretty harmless in the scheme of things. But what about when you don’t realize that you are being manipulated by advertising and the product in question could affect your health?

Do you choose your medication based on the commercial? Do you alter your grocery shopping based on print ads? Do you find yourself singing the jingle for fast food restaurants? Do you know the slogan/address/catch phrase of local places from the radio? Think about it.

Ok, first off, it’s not necessarily a bad thing. I love good advertising. I mean, everyone does. Look at how popular the super bowl commercials are. The problem (as far as I’m concerned) is not in liking the advertisement. The problem happens when you are unaware of it. I know that I will always have a penchant for old spice, Nike footwear, orbit gum, bud light and most recently volkswagens. I know that 90% of the reason I like those things are because of advertising. But what about the food commercials I am not really aware of? I don’t even have to like the fast food ad but when I see a sexy guy eating a big mac in a beautiful open landscape and there is catchy music and he looks to be thoroughly enjoying it and then an announcer tells me that yes, he is having the best eating experience of his life, it’s hard not to fall for it subconsciously. I may not even have noticed it happening, but later in the week when I pass by said restaurant, I might find that my mouth starts to water and the familiar jingle appears in my head and I am struck with an overwhelming urge to stop and eat. To the untrained observer (there is one in all of us) we think we actually want that burger. We are having a hard time separating the person who was sucked into the TV and the person who is actually hungry.

This week I would like you to try and notice when advertising is swaying you. If you are checking your email, and banners for TGI Fridays keep flashing across your screen, take note. Are you getting hungry? When you watch a Claritin ad do you immediately get the sinking feeling that you too have asthma? All of the ads on TV are designed to make us believe that we need the thing they are selling. However most of the time we do not need anything. Or at least not anything you can buy. And this is why my favorite advertising is Kaiser Permanente. Their Thrive campaign actually makes me feel like I want to lead a healthier life and I don’t even need to be a Kaiser member or purchase anything. What is advertising doing to you? Maybe nothing, but more than likely it’s persuading you to buy, think, eat, do something. Is that something helping you or hurting you? Only you will know.

Health is a Battlefield

Many moons ago my mom gave me some advice concerning relationships. She said, “Sarah, pick your battles.” I looked up at her naively, “But mama, I am never going to have a fight in my relationship, it’s going to be perfect.” Little did I know, even prince charming is going to piss you off once in awhile and now I know what she meant: Not every fight is worth fighting. Sometimes, you just have to let go and give in. Pick the fights that mean something to you, or rather, pick the ones that mean the most something because they will all mean a little something.

I feel the same way about nutrition.

There are so many do’s and don’ts. There are just so many. Can you even digest them all? There is so much information out there and I am reading it every single day. I know you are too. Sometimes you even read it from me. J That’s why I pick my battles.

Stay away from canned foods. Stay away from processed foods. Eat coconut oil and salmon. Don’t eat salmon. Don’t eat tuna. Take more vitamin B. Don’t eat meat. Eat meat. Don’t eat anything with a name you can’t pronounce. Eat fiber, no really, eat more fiber, and why not take a fiber supplement. Coffee is evil. Tea is good. Wine is good. Only drink luke-warm Brita water and food that came from a farm down the street and fruit that wasn’t picked but merely fell from a tree and chicken made from soy that tastes like beef and never forget to eat your acai berries. Or wait, was it blueberries? And for Heavens sake stay away from artificial sweeteners. I am sure you can think of about 800 more.

Do you really want to fight all those battles? Maybe you do. Maybe they all mean a little something to you. But do they all mean a lot of something to you?

I think the way that you mediate between the a lots and the a littles is by figuring out why you are worrying about them in the first place.

Are you trying to lower your cholesterol? Is the number one priority on your list to lose weight or have strong bones? Are you trying to gain weight or muscle? Are you worried about your heart or your lungs? Are you trying to prevent cancer and other illnesses? Why are you worried? Is it because you saw an ad on TV that told you to be worried? Is it because you read a book that said, “be afraid”? Is it because your doctor told you or you read about a study in science daily? Is it just an innate sense of health that keeps you wanting to strive to be the healthiest you can be, or do you just want all around general good health?

All of these questions will yield a different battle.

My battle is with an inflamed wrist that seems to act up when I eat too many processed inflammatory foods. That is a battle worth fighting for me. That means that I am not really that concerned about whether my water is filtered or my vegetables are organic. What I am concerned about is how much sugar and processed chemicals I consume. I recently watched Food Inc and it scarred me for life so now I will only eat organic meat and dairy. I am fighting that battle all the way to the bank (man organic meat is expensive) but I am not worrying about the cholesterol in said meat. I am eating it anyway, fat, cholesterol and all. I love, love, love vegetables so I eat them in abundance every day. As for the processed foods, there are these ice cream bars chock full of chemicals that I absolutely adore. Do I refrain completely because of said wrist? No, sometimes that is a battle I'm not going to fight.

I do not have the time, wallet or fear to eat all organic, stop eating meat, alcohol, coffee or aspartame completely. I eat food out of cans; sometimes I drink soda, most of the time I am pretty healthy…except when I’m not.

See what I mean? Being healthy doesn’t mean fighting every food battle. Sometimes we need to give in, read: eat skinny cow. Sometimes we need to fight and we need to say, no, I will not be having seconds/eating that non-organic potato/drinking that diet soda/eating while watching TV.

The point is that we need to figure it out for ourselves.

We know what we can and want to do. We are the only people in our relationship with ourselves and so we are the only ones who know which battles are worth the fight.

Grace

While on a trip to Santa Monica a few weeks ago I learned from a rather adorable almost 2 year-old how to live a healthier life, but what I haven’t told you is how that adorable girl’s parents taught me to make eating a sacred event.

Mimi and George say grace before eating and while I do not consider myself a religious person I am fully adopting the habit.

“Grace is the name of any short prayer said or intentioned prior to eating as a way of thanking deities for the meal at hand or imparting a blessing on the meal and those partaking it, thus sanctifying the food.”

It used to be that food was pretty scarce and when you had a meal, it was kind of a big deal. Taking a moment to thank the Universe for providing it and praying that it didn’t make you sick were a little more obvious. Now we (thankfully) don’t have that problem. Food is in abundance (at least for most everyone reading this) and it’s not such a big deal to order a pizza or cook up a chicken. This is of course fortunate, and sometimes unfortunate. We’ve forgotten how freaking cool and important it is. I think we need to look at food as something a little more sacred. It is, after all what gives us energy and life.

This does not mean that I think everyone should go home, steeple their hands and pray to God before they eat. Grace does not have to be a religious thing. What about making grace a human thing. Before I ate my lunch this afternoon I took a moment to be present in the moment and thank MY God (this can be whomever you want, God, Allah, Buddha, the Universe, your mother, yourself or Yoda). Recognize that it is wonderful and special to be here on earth and have the ability to fuel your own body.

Take a moment to think about what you are putting into your body and give some thanks for the greatness that is your sandwich.

Amen

Baby, Baby

Many of you know that I have been in LA for the past week helping a dear dear friend with her two handfuls of joy. She has a 17 month old and a 17 day old. Basically I am tired and in heaven at the same time. There are so many pieces of inspiration for me this week that it has been difficult to choose which bit I want to write about; difficult but not not impossible.

The 17 month old is a little girl named Bela, who might just be the cutest little girl I have ever seen. I know I am unbelievably biased, but honestly, she is. Bela is also the healthiest person I have ever met. I'm not even being biased here, it's true.

And so this update is about how if we could all be a little more like Bela (or many other babies and toddlers) we would all be a bit healthier. Here are my top three reasons why she is my new guru of health.

She sleeps for 12 hours every night and has a 2 hour nap every day. Ok, I know that is probably a bit excessive for the average grown-up but it certainly couldn't hurt to try and get a little closer to the toddler schedule. I mean would it be so difficult to go to bed 15 minutes earlier? Bela doesn't always want to go down, she cries and says no and then promptly falls asleep. That is exactly what would happen to you. A few tears, a little fuss but if you make yourself go to bed, you will eventually sleep. We train ourselves to sleep at a certain time. If you start going to bed earlier, it will start to become a habit.

She gets upset and then gets over it. Let's say she's upset because she has to put on shoes (isn't that a bit of a pain for us all?) she stomps her bare feet, lets out a little moan and then goes off looking for her favorite toy. When she has to come back inside after playing, she gets a little flustered, bursts out a bit of a cry, walks through the door and looks at you expectantly as she asks for some apple. Out with the old and in with the new. Wouldn't it be great if when something bad happened, we just got upset and then let it go? I'm not saying you shouldn't get upset; I am all for getting upset. Let it out! Then let it go!

And Bela's number one awesomely healthy behavior? She eats when she's hungry and stops when she's full!

Can you believe it? I know, it's amazing, but it's true. She will never finish something just because she's sad or distracted or angry. If she's sad or distracted or angry, she is just that. She is incapable of eating while feeling those feelings. Next time you want to raid the fridge at midnight, ask yourself, are you feeling something and mistaking it for hunger or do you really want that pint of ice cream?

There are so many more too, a couple of my favorites that didn't make the top three are:

She laughs all the time
She exercises for AT LEAST an hour every day
She is inquisitive about the world
She loves to read

This week let's all try to be a little more childlike in our outlook on health. Come on, be a big baby with Bela and me.

You are AMAZING!

The most wonderful thing happened to me this morning. I was simply going about my day when I happened to wander into the ladies room here at UCSF and was bombarded by positively inspirational and complimentary post it notes stuck on every single mirror. Instead of noticing how tired I looked or how dirty my hair seemed, I smiled and actually giggled a little as I read:

“You’re kind of a big deal; just saying.”

As I walked out and passed by the full-length mirror I was hit with a burst of confidence as I read, “Wow, you look great today!”

It’s really difficult to feel bad about yourself when you are reading positive statements while looking in the mirror. It the same reason why we end up feeling so bad when we continually tell ourselves we’re not beautiful or we’re stupid or we’re just not good enough. If we tell ourselves those things enough times we will start to believe them and we will end up living them as truth instead of the thing we made up in our head.

If we keep telling ourselves we rock, then eventually we will start to believe that too and isn’t it better to believe you’re awesome than to believe you suck? It just takes practice.

So what better way to practice than to take an example from the UCSF feel good fairy? This week I want everyone to write some positive statements on a few post-it notes. If you can’t think of what to write, have a friend write it for you or use some of the examples below. Then put those post-its on every mirror in your house. If your husband/wife/child/roommate/cat thinks you’re nuts, oh well. Tell them I am making you do it.

Put them up on your steering wheel or on your computer. Secretly put them up in the bathroom at your work. Leave them on your neighbor’s desk or stick it to a seat on the bus. Lets make this a week of reminding ourselves, and others that we are amazing, because we are. I truly believe that.

Some possible post-it’s

You are beautiful, no I mean it; you are gorgeous.

You blow me away!

You are awesome, I mean really awesome.

You are kind of a big deal, seriously.

You light up this room.

Wow! You are hot as fire today!

Damn you’re smart!

Come on, seriously? Is that smile legal?

Be Good to your Body, it’s where you Live