Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Fuel for Life

Everybody has heard the term introvert or extrovert and I am sure most people have labeled themselves or someone else at one time or another. “Oh, she’s an extrovert, she’ll be fine at the party.” Or, “he’s an introvert, so very shy.” Until recently I had always thought of myself as an extrovert. I am social and loud and friendly. I have no fear of talking to strangers and I love being the center of attention. Extrovert, right? Not so fast.

The true definition of an extrovert is a person who gets their energy from other people and an introvert is someone whose fuel comes from being alone. Most people are a bit of a mix of both.

Take the BF and me: I love, love, love to be alone. I can take days in row where I don’t leave the house, and all I do is read, sew and watch cheesy movies. I like to take walks by myself and go to the movies alone. I like long hours spent doing nothing but daydreaming, alone in my pajamas. Sometimes I become overwhelmed by all the activity and social engagements of life and I have to actually schedule alone time in order to recharge the batteries. It’s not that I don’t like being social but sometimes it’s too much for me.

The BF is the opposite. He gets his fuel from the energy of others. He likes to entertain and have people round for supper and BBQ’s and pool parties. He spends long drives chatting to family members and friends on the phone (Bluetooth of course). It’s not that he can’t or doesn’t like to be alone, it’s that he gets his energy from connection with others.

And yet if you met us both at a party you would think I was the extrovert and he was the introvert. He is much less chatty than me and definitely less dramatic (thank goodness, right?)

Have you ever thought about where your fuel comes from? I mean you get energy from the food you eat and the exercise you take but is your life giving you more energy or is it depleting you?

I spend most of my day being pretty social. I am always around people and so by the end of the day I am fairly depleted. Because I know that I need extra alone time for refueling I make sure to give myself that time. Today I am going to take a walk in the park by myself. If you are the opposite and stare at a computer all day with v little interaction but you happen to be an extrovert, you might find it helpful to schedule time for lunch dates and after work events.

Take a look at yourself and discover if you are an extrovert or an introvert or both. When you know what pumps you up, you can make sure to fill your tank with the correct type of fuel. You wouldn’t put diesel fuel in a gasoline only car. If you did, it certainly wouldn’t run as well or at all.

Let’s all give ourselves the premium grade this week and notice how it affects our ability to drive.

2 comments:

  1. Hi Sarah. This really resonates with me. Interestingly Myers-Briggs psychometrics identifies intra-vert and extra-vert which as you say point to where your energy/ideas/inspiration come from. Some people confuse this with 'being' an introvert or extrovert. I'm with you on the intra-vert scale - I love peace and quiet, yet at times love the company of others. Skiing on my own I don't find much fun, but with others it's great.
    The confusion with extro/extra is a bit like stress, it's amalgamated in to one confusing meaning. When in fact there are two types of stress: distress and eustress. The former is a disabling state of anxiety and the latter is a motivator. Ho hum.
    Have fun!
    Anthony x

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  2. Great article Sarah! Reading this makes me miss you and reminds me that I need to schedule more alone time for myself.

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