Worry Wort

Have you ever gotten worried about something that you had no control of? I bet you have. Have you ever gotten worried or anxious about something that you have control of but that can’t be dealt with at the present moment? Once again, I would say probably yes.

I tend to lean on the side of worry but I am pretty sure that even the most relaxed of people have been made to fret over something pretty small.

In the scheme of things even big stuff doesn’t warrant worrying. I mean, most of the big stuff we can’t actually do anything about. And even if we could do something about it, we are less likely to if we spend that energy worrying. There is something in our brains that makes us believe that worrying will actually help, but it doesn’t.

I am going to say that again: Worrying will not help whatever it is you are worrying about.

Think about it. Let’s say you go on vacation and on the flight home you spend half of it worrying about how much weight you gained. What do you think that worrying is doing for you? Nothing. How about it’s 4:00 a.m. and you are wide-awake worrying about the presentation you have tomorrow. I seriously doubt that lying awake all night worrying will make that presentation any better. Worrying about what Aunt Betsy is going to say to your new beau at Thanksgiving? No reason to, because Aunt Betty is going to speak her mind whether you spend a week or a year fretting about it.

Even really intense worries like whether or not you’re going to lose your job, be able to pay your mortgage etc will not be made better by worrying. They might be made better by being prepared but those are two different things.

I get worried all the time and in fact I was worrying needlessly about several things earlier last week when I got a brilliant idea. I decided to make a worry box. I took an old shoe box from my closet, wrote “don’t worry” on the top and filled it with an assortment of things that will help remind me to calm down when I start to become overwhelmed by my own mind. This week I want everyone to make one of his or her own. It’s kind of like an earthquake kit; except the earthquake is when you start to worry about something you have no control over at the present moment, like say an earthquake.

Everyone’s box will be different but this is what I put in mine:

A pad of paper and a pen; this is to write down steps I can take in the future to help me worry less about whatever it is I am worrying about. Whether you’re worried about your credit, weight, or career, writing down goals to help you on your path can be amazingly helpful.

Important phone numbers of people I know will help me feel better. I have most of those important numbers memorized but sometimes I need reminding that they are there to be called. Just seeing the names and numbers of your important people will make you feel less alone in your worry.

A salt scrub and facemask; Having a shower and pampering yourself a little can do wonders to calm you down, and using a facemask can be very symbolic in it’s stripping away of your worries. Oh Calgon, take me away.

A list of things I know will help that I may be overlooking in the moment; going for a walk, doing yoga, having a cup of tea, listening to that particular song. When we are in the midst of worry, it’s pretty hard to remember what will make us feel better, that is why many of us end up eating or mindlessly surfing the Internet.

You could put almost anything in your preparedness box. Maybe it’s a couple of DVDs of old sitcoms that make you laugh or an audio recording of your favorite musical. I have a Friends DVD in mine because they always make me feel good and a pedometer to remind me to go for a walk. I am on the lookout for one of those head massagers to throw in there as well. Basically it’s a box to calm me down but also help me feel prepared.

I highly recommend making one of your own. It certainly can’t hurt. I know it’s so much easier to talk about letting go of worry than it is to actually do it, but I guarantee it will be easier to calm down if you have one of these boxes. Next time you find yourself fretting over something that can’t be fixed, just pull out your worry box and in the immortal words of Joey from Friends, “Fahgettaboudit.”

Be Good to your Body, it’s where you Live